37. "I Am a Lion"
It's hard for me not to tell you--
even in this amiable attempt of a poem--
just how lovely you are.
I'm struggling to find the voice
that is as timid as you deserve.
I am a lion.
I am loud.
(2018)
36. "Intoxication"
I think I now know
what the old poets
were referring to
when they declared that
looking upon their
beloved
was more intoxicating
than the finest wine.
It seems like such a
sweet sentiment.
I'm now not so sure
that it's a good thing.
I can't stop looking at you.
I don't know why.
The reasoning caverns of
my mind for such things
are bottomless.
A simple answer would be
that I find you
beautiful
and a human life is
meant to be one filled
with beauty.
And then
there is a more
twisted
offering:
I just want you to fill out
the dark spaces so long
neglected.
I'm afraid
to look up and not see
you looking at me.
I keep my eyes on you,
steady,
searching,
to feel the pulse
of being seen
by you,
at all,
my impossible
tender-eyed
friend.
I can't help but drink you in.
(2018)
35. "Tall Pine"
There is a tall pine
that I know
out here
in the mountains
who stands alone
in the field between
the bright, empty sky
and
the dry grasses of summer.
Every night
it sings to the
august dance
of lonely stars.
Each day
it sways to
the persistent call
of wind.
From afar,
it is alone
in the space
it calls home.
Up close,
it is easy to see
it is rooted
in a field
of flowers
who adore it
so
completely.
This tree holds
the skyline
in its arms
and the soft
rains of the world
in its core,
in its heartwood.
This tall pine
knows itself to be
among the wild beauty--
and maybe,
perhaps,
it might even know
that all the splendor
surrounding its
slender frame
is only
a
reflection.
(2018)
34. "Confused Beings"
I saw you move
her bucket
to the position
that you thought was
correct
for our ceremony
of nourishment
and non-dual mortality--
I was not supposed
to be watching you,
or anyone,
but myself
and my three
little bowls.
She did not ask
you to help her--
I don't think she
is even ready
to ask
you for friendship.
She did not need
you to instruct
her
and I felt anger
hot and clenching
in my belly
that had little to do
with how salty
the soybeans were.
I recognized myself
in her, there,
watching in disbelief
as you assumed
control over the
situation
over how you were
being served
And I wanted to
tell you as I
have so many times
just how little you
recognize the
strength in others--
maybe because
you do not
recognize
your own.
And then,
mercifully,
my heart sent
out a light
messenger
To remind me of
my vow to love
all confused beings,
and to humble
me into remembering
that I used to
love you
as you sat
looking like a
child on my
floor
confused, certainly, and
afraid, and
the holder of a heart
just as fragile
as my own;
And I softened,
thankfully,
into my vow.
How do I hold
you both?
How do I hold
myself
as a reflection?
I too am a
confused
being.
(2018)
33. "It's Okay"
I like that
you close your
eyes
when a poem
is being
read to you.
Please,
don't stop trying
to share
the world
with me.
I know I can
make space
for you to
sit
beside me
as you eagerly
attempt
to capture
me.
I am trying
to relax
and remember
what I'm sure
I once
knew--
That it is okay
to allow myself
to be loved
by something
beautiful.
(2018)
32. "Face to Face"
This world
waits
to be
expressed,
held
as a
shadow
behind
my eyebrows.
The velvet
heaviness
of the
perfect
word--
The lighthearted
tumble
of a
human
existence--
This is
what
my eyes
try to
tell you
when you
need me.
All that you
have to do
is
stop
and read me--
The answers
are all
right here,
gentle,
yet real,
Traced in the
folds of
my
not-quite-aging
face,
In the
waves of
my eyes,
wide
with thought
and
unbounded
storms.
Slow down,
my love.
I can't quite
make out
the words
you carry
softly
like a burden.
Maybe I can assure you--
you are already
the whole
story.
(2018)
31. "This Tea is Rosy Pink"
This tea
is rosy pink.
I love it
the way
my natural being
loves
the shape of your
eyelashes.
I have found
a life
in which I
can be
romantic
with all of
you.
(2018)
30. "Electricity"
I feel your
finger
as it runs
along
my spine.
It is a
welcome
charge
reminding me
of the
electricity
of all
living
things.
(2018)
29. "The Truth of How to Be in Love"
The mystics
when they write
poems to God
are so full
of Love
it radiates off
every word
and finds
a comfortable home
in my open,
eager
heart.
Their love
is an eclipse,
a beacon
of celestial grace,
and a deep
swim
in an eternal,
quiet
ocean.
But perhaps
what most calls
to this poor
hopeless
romantic
monk
is not the grandiosity,
nor the bone-melting
devotion,
but the soft and
mischievous
strokes
with which they
caress
the sacred.
It is in this dance,
between their eyes
filling with stars
when they
gaze
upon their
Beloved
and
their chastising
the Holy
for its
perfect imperfections
that I find
the truth of their
relationship
and the truth
of how
to be
in Love.
(2018)
28. "I Love You"
"I Love you"
Always feels like
A bit of an
Understatement--
But I don't know
How else to
Say it to you.
What could I do?
Read you these poems?
I feel that would
Only illuminate
The vastness
Of my adoration
And the tension
I hold close
To my breast.
I'm sure it would be
Overwhelming
For anyone--
Even you,
My Beloved.
It would be a
Frightening load
To add to your
Shoulders,
The knowledge
Of such a strong
Heart song.
And
I do not want to
Overwhelm or
Frighten you,
Dear one
Because,
Well,
You know,
I love you.
(2018)
27. "Gravity"
Your absence
Is heavy
And pulls
At the labyrinth
Of my inner landscape
Like the sun
Pulls the Earth--
You
Out distant
Out there in the void
Radiating your bright
And nourishing
Effulgent light--
How can I do
Anything
But love you?
(2018)
26. "Atlas"
I return to
the source
empty-handed
and feel
somehow
all the more
burdened.
To know the
lightness of being
is to know the
heaviness of loss,
of unmet desire,
all the clearer.
I do not know
how many more times
I must travel
this road home
shouldering the
same heaviness.
I need to stop
seeing you
as Atlas--
the one who
holds up my world
and carries me
in the emptiness.
That's the only clear
place to start.
And yet
And yet
I sit in the warmth
and chilling shadows
of all of my growing pains
Here
in the land of my
parents and childhood--
and somehow
the Friend I have found
in adulthood--
that one who sits
in my chest--
feels absent.
I know I am confused
Because
I can't help
but think that
the Friend is
held in you,
my Love,
unrequited.
(2018)
25. "Homesickness of Heart"
I return home
and, like so many,
revisit the chaotic
weight of karmic shadows
that settle in my blood
like thin oxygen.
These mountains
built my bones--
it is of them
that my skeleton
is made.
I am grateful
for this sturdy
foundation.
Yet
my heart now
blooms in the far west
and I feel the
ghost of its absence
haunting me
in this valley
of dry dirt
and bright memories.
Perhaps this turbulence,
this frenzy of mind,
is only God after all--
I need to remember
She exists in all
forms,
even
in my past.
I smell the soil
of my childhood
and remember
viscerally
what it was to
long
And
I gaze in fresh
wonder
at the garden flowers
of my adult life--
strangers, yet known
in my soul's footprint--
And, like a child--
like a love sick
moon sick
teenager--
all I can do
is watch
my breath
catch
On what it
could be like
for you to love
me.
I am haunted
by a homesickness
of heart,
here
where it all started.
(2018)
24. "An Impression of Love"
My love,
it occurred to me
today
while I was
walking on the
beach
with our friend
That the way
we see
each other
is perhaps
not unlike
the way
I see
a Monet--
That is to say
that the more
space you give
to the work,
the clearer
it becomes:
How what
up close
looks like a
confused spattering
of colorful dots
and elegant lines
becomes
an intricately beautiful
landscape or
pool filled with lilies
when only
a few steps
are taken
to create
distance.
I imagine it is not
only us
for whom this is
true--
that Love is
an impression
that can only be
seen in its true
and full
beauty--
how the creator
intended--
if given
the proper space.
From back here
I can see
more completely
how detailed
and complex
and lovely
you truly are.
(2018)
23. "Why Should I Desire Anything Less For You?"
I.
I lie down
in my bed
unclothed
and let the
sweet
gentle
vibrant
summer air
and sound of
fresh birds
greet me into
this new day--
There is not
much that is
lovelier
than being
reminded
about the
heat of growth
as I read
poems
written by
women
who left
everything,
who became
no one
to know God--
And I envy them.
II.
And I dream
idly
of one day
being devoted
to the whole
being
as truly as
they
and wistfully
allow the hole
in my heart
to throb
with a recognition
born from
the aches of
a human life,
when I realize
that you have
already known
such devotion,
already dance
readily
with the bliss
of creation
and the
eternal pain
of Indra's Web--
And all that
I seek
in turn
is to know
what it is
to have you
kiss
my clouded eyes
and stroke
my deluded head
and see me
as something
special,
and by that I mean
separate from it all--
a spectacle.
III.
I want you
to sink down
to meet me
when you
already exist
with a heart
of pure light
in which
I am
a wavering
beam.
Can your
smooth belly
feel
the earnest
desire
of the eternal
chaos?
Can your fingertips
stroke
the fringes
of reality?
Can your
steady heartbeat
pull in
the blood
of existence?
Then,
as your ardent
Lover,
why should I
ever desire
anything
less
for you?
IV.
Why,
as someone
who Loves you
like I Love
this summer breeze,
warm and friendly,
running its face
along
my body--
Why would I
want you,
how could I
ever want you,
to substitute
the universe,
the sun,
the mountains,
the cosmic beat,
for this
fragile
single
being?
How could I
be someone
who truly
Loves you
if I wished
such
despair
for you?
(2018)
22. "Your Original Face"
I can't help myself.
It is burned
Into my heart
That you notice
Everything
And Love it all--
The empty-handed
Travelers,
The confused and tired
Pilgrims,
The beings of fire and
Ghosts of thirst--
They all adore you,
And your love keeps
Them moving forward.
I don't know
What to do
With your insistent,
Detached longing
But use it to:
First,
Tumble into all of
My familiar traps
Born
Of a child's hearfelt
Ignorance--
Second,
Deeply touch
The wonder
Of your
Unfolding--
And
Third,
Let it go.
Let it all go.
I want to see
You
As you
Are.
I want to see
Your
Original Face.
Hopefully
That can be enough
For now,
My Love.
Oh,
If only
Your eyes
Weren't
The eyes
of God.
(2018)
21. "Midnight Flowers"
The path
I keep treading
again and
again--
This path
Is dark and
Beautiful.
The fragrant
Darkness
Of shadow-covered
Blooms--
This is what
continues
to allure me.
I always find myself
with you--
Even though
you are high up
on the mountaintop
and see many things
clearly, splendidly
from up there--
I am the one
who smells of
midnight flowers.
(2018)
20. "A Prayer"
I call out
To all
Buddhas and Ancestors
And hope that they
Can receive
A prayer
That rests in such
Delusion
As this--
Please
Help me
Reshape the Earth
In my belly
From which
This misguided
Devotion grows
Up and out--
Please
Help reform
Me like a
Wet slab of clay
Into an upright
And boundless
Figure
Who's strong enough
To support
It all.
I know she's
In here
I can feel her
White hot heart
Like a glowing
Ember:
Right in the center
Right here.
Please
Gods and fierce heroines
Of ancient
Body and mind--
Please
Help me
Grow
In my capacity
To hold this
Darkness
As light
And
To hold all of
His sheer
Brilliance
As a step
On the path
To the vacant
Heart of
Stars
And
Time.
I call out
To you
Buddhas and Ancestors
In the hope
That you can
Uproot
This spine-entangled
Tree
And safely, lovingly
Replant it
Somewhere
It can
Bloom.
(2018)
19. "How to Hold You"
I'm sorry
I couldn't hold
your soft being
gently in my hands
like a butterfly
or unfolding
flower.
I hope that
you know
That's all I truly wanted.
My habit of
closing my fingers
into a fist
just got in the way.
I hope that
someday we
can both remember
what it is
to simply
Love
the unfurling
mystery
of our beings
And forget everything else.
(2018)
18. "Your Depths"
When I first fell
in Love with you
it was like
falling
into a cool pool
holding the
reflection of stars.
Your depths and
radiant energy
swept me up,
encircled me,
left me suspended
in the aching
shadow
of your splendid
sweetness.
Now--
after some years
and scars and
growth and all of
the delicate and
beautiful pain
that accompanies
such things--
Now
it is easy to forget
that I once was
filled with wonder
so easily by
nothing other than
your thoughts
and full body
laugh.
Your depths had
become something
I wanted to map out
and excavate--
I wanted to own
the riches of your
catacombs
instead of just
exploring
their twisted beauty.
(2018)
17. "Come to Love"
I always hoped that
You would come to
Love me as you
Love God.
Now I only hope that
I can come to
Love God as I have
Loved you.
(2018)
16. "The Only Music We Share"
So much
of my love
for you
was in believing
that we
were singing
the same song.
Now,
in the silence,
I can finally hear--
The only music
We share
is the beat
of our
hearts.
(2018)
15. "Phoenix"
I still hear you, perfectly,
And see you, clearly,
Deep in thought, brow furrowed,
Unsure of the honesty
You hold behind your eyes,
As you explain that you
Can feel the pain of the world--
That you know you could
Extinguish the flames that burn
Her alive
But instead
You choose to wait--
Making the choice
For her
To perish in immolation
With the vain hope that
Something will be born from the ashes.
I thought it was such a twisted
And beautiful
Way to love someone.
You said you realized what an
Honor it was to be chosen.
That people could be forgiven
For their past arrogancies.
That you loved me in all of
My ways.
I did not once stop my heart
From leaping.
I did not once think that the world
Was not me.
That I was not the one who deserved
Just once
To do the choosing.
That I was burning for any other reason
Than to be lost in you.
Oh my love,
How my heart twists my mind,
How your mind twists your heart!
I will become a phoenix
Sharing my song
With the aching world,
Just as I thought you wished--
My deluded mind
Knows no other direction.
Perhaps I'll find my way
In kindling
These settling embers
Of God.
(2018)
14. "The Need to Not Know"
I tell myself that I needed this--
I needed you to stop
looking at me like I was the
unveiled depths of your universe.
I need to stop
being the spark
that brought to light
the radiant mirrored intimacy
of this moment.
But I don't want it.
It is the shifting of
luminous night and
blinding days into
an uncomfortably calm and grey dawn.
I know I needed to accept that
the wonder you saw in me
was only my mind
reflecting upon itself--
Yet now I feel empty
and unsure.
I can no longer navigate
the folds of your thoughts.
For a long time I believed I could
traverse those hills
with knowing feet--
often stumbling, yet sure
of my way and
eager for the discovery.
Now I know nothing.
(2018)
13. "The Love Poem"
I keep searching
Among the many
Love poems,
The thousands, millions,
Billions of
Poems about love
Searching
For the feeling
I know to be true.
This one isn't
Quite right, either.
All I know
Is that there
Must be
Someone
Out there
Who really knows
What it is
To love
And be loved
Wholly and truly.
There must be
Someone
With the same
Soul print
As I.
There must be
At least
One other
Human being
Who knows what
I know,
Only better.
I need a guide
Into this
Infinite intimacy.
The search is
Rich and not
Unrewarding.
Yes,
Love is certainly
Like the moon
And the blanket
of stars;
It is not far away
From the simple
Beauty of a rose
Or breaking
Ocean wave--
Yet that is not at all
Quite it.
Forgive me,
Poets of the past--
My friends and sisters--
You were all
Doing your
Very best
To touch the heart.
But I am
Still searching
For the one,
The poem,
That fills the
Depthless void
With warm sweetness,
That poet
Who knows
What it is to be
Truly mortal
And young
And full
And still
Yearning.
Still yearning.
Still searching.
Still attempting
To be the one
Who writes the
Poem
That makes me
Understand
What it is
To finally be
In Love.
(2018)
12. "All I Am"
All I am
is an endless cycle
of hearfelt longing.
That,
and the ringing
of this bell.
(2018)
11. "Fine Notes"
I sometimes forget
the sweetness
of what it was
to Love you
And then
I smell the fine notes
in a cup
of ancient tea
And I remember.
(2018)
10. "Under the Covers"
I'm afraid
That you'll look
Under the covers
In my mind
And see
Our naked
Skeletons
Holding each other,
Intertwined.
(2018)
9. "The City at Night"
My heartbeat
when I think of you
thrums with the
deep echoes of
the city
at night--
all lit up
and singing.
Memories of
the dark and
magnetic energy
of our bodies
pulsing
sweeps
through the
alleyways of
my mind
and bones.
I used to taste
the soft edges
of flashing lights
and think
they could be
my home.
Now,
I know
That the city
at night
only swells
and embraces
the breaking forth
of hearfelt home
when you
are right there
on the streets
dancing
with me.
(2017)
8. "Home"
I would melt into you,
If you let me.
Your bones would be
My bones and
Your heart would be
Mine.
I would make you
My home.
As it goes,
Such carnal and dark
Desires as these
Are, graciously,
Laid down to rest.
You carry forward
With barely a
Whisper of a thought
Looking back.
And so I am left
Once again
Without a home,
Feeling empty.
I am left
To sit out
Alone
In the night
To count the stars
Circling the moon.
Their cosmic adoration
Echoes
Through space and time.
They sing to me:
"You are enough,
Dear one.
Just you
Are enough."
I feel my body
On this Earth
And I cry
With release.
It is not small feat
To make the
Earth and stars
Love you,
To make them
Your home.
(2017)
7. "How Much I Love You"
I've finally started
to tell you
how much
I love you--
In a way
that you can
actually hear it,
and not have to
just read it
in my eyes
imploring.
Both of us
acknowledge fully
that this Love's form
is intimate
and yet
You vow to not
surrender to
this intimacy--
and I obligingly
follow.
I tell myself
that to love you
fully
would be the
work of a
Hero
and yet
all that does
is remind me
of what true
human strength
can be.
So I tell you
how much
I love you--
That it is
bottomless,
unable to fill
the singing void--
That it is
expansive,
like the lightly
tossed breeze--
That it is
radiant,
as though my
head were
on fire.
And we both
laugh and
wonder--
What does that
mean?
What good can
that do?
Why not instead
just
release
from suffering?
(2017)
6. "Loving You is a Consistent Lesson"
Loving you
is a consistent lesson
on how to let go.
I know what it is
to be pulled like the tide--
your gravity pushes me
up against the shore,
fills up my caverns and
washes away my foundations,
and then is gone.
I watch you recede,
drifting back to the depths,
and cannot help
but think you're beautiful.
I cannot hold onto you
anymore than I can the ocean.
You cannot love me
anymore than any other
grain of sand.
And so I've learned to
wait.
To sit still under the sun and rest--
to feel the fullness
of my own divine
place in these vast waters--
and wait
until you are ready
to wash over me again.
When you return,
I always rejoice.
To know the taste of
your turbulence
and bright bubbles like laughter
is to know a God I don't believe in.
It is to know myself
as an empty vessel.
Yes,
loving you
is a consistent lesson
on how to let go
of everything
I know as me.
Including you.
(2017)
5. "If I Am the Moon"
If I am the Moon,
Then you are the sun.
There is no doubt
That I would be
Anything other than
Beautiful
If left on my own--
A gentle and pale body
Suspended comfortably in
The emptiness.
There is also no doubt
That it is through your
Warmth and light
That I become
Radiant.
I am a mirror and a
Welcoming host
To your tickling
Flames as they stretch
Out through the dense
Blanket of space
And time.
Your light caress spares
No crater, no mound
As you understand
Them all to be receptive,
Find them all to be
Perfect.
Right now it is early morning,
And every star but Venus
Is fading to an orange-grey.
You will continue on your orbit
Discovering your splendor,
Uncovering your depths.
I will continue in my orbit,
Inspiring the dreams of
The romantics and lost.
When you bring about
The growth of the world and
All its minds,
I will dance in the
Starlight of my companions.
I will sit here amongst
The cries of coyotes and
The cries of lovers and
Wait, as I always have,
and always will,
For my own light to manifest
For my own, true light
To shine
Bright enough
For all.
(2017)
4. "The Tarot Card Deck"
Last night I asked a tarot card deck
If you are the person who will save me.
The whole time I felt silly, remembering
When I was younger and still held onto magic;
Remembering when I believed that
Love could be something conjured and sunk into,
Could be the rewiring of my life into radiance.
Since then, my heart has been ceaselessly falling,
Tumbling down the steep slope; an endless cycle of
Grey disappointment, like Sisyphus' great rock.
I do not complain too much anymore, because I've
Found solace in building my own fire, in
Kindling my own transcendent and bright splendor.
This is being what an adult is, I suppose.
Yet last night I slipped back into a worn-out
And familiar state of surrender and wonder.
I wanted to believe again, if only for a night,
That happiness could be dealt as easily as
A deck of cards, could be eased into as
Readily as sleep, where my dreams convey
All of my same faith in the mystery as when I was a child.
So I looked at that tarot card deck,
Decorated with fairies and reapers and goddesses,
And I tried to remember what I thought love
Would feel like. I thought of your eyes of
Warm walks in noon forests and your smile
Of deep contentment and concern, and I
Imagined, in that moment, that you could be mine.
And you would never guess what--
In that space of belief and sisterhood--
What was said to me by owls and bears and cats.
They all spoke to me and said,
"Do not hold onto the past as though it were something
That is real. Look right in front of you--
There is a star, and he will envelope you in his soft light".
(2017)
3. "Nothing But Our Simple Beings"
Right now I'm thinking about
Falling in love with you again.
Is it really a fall, a tumble, a dive?
Maybe it is more like a slide, a slip--
Like moving in between satin sheets.
I am a being composed of starlight
And the quiet sound of mountain valleys.
You will end, as will I, and the universe
Will continue in weaving its grand tapestry
Of complex darkness and blinding simplicity.
Intimately knowing such delusions
Only leads me to reading poems
About flowers, to thinking soft
Thoughts about sunny mornings and
Restful sleepless nights with you.
I cannot help the folly of my
Human condition. It enables
Me to feel full on the soft touch
Of fingers on my neck and
Lips over my thin ribs.
I am only a fragment of this song;
I do not even make a sound.
Yet in such nothingness my body
Shines for an instant, quaking
On steady ground for your eye-smile.
This life provides so much for me;
It gives me a sun drenched moment
Of eternity while the breeze plays
With the edges of my soft toes.
It gives me an awareness like fire.
So I do not complain as I sit
In the soft hooting of owls, as I
Idly dream in rigid certainty
About the sufferings of my heart
From whence the glow is born.
Yes, I am certainly thinking about
Falling in love with you again--
Because nothing can match the wild
Order of the universe--
Nothing but our simple beings, intertwined.
(2017)
2. "Such a Day as the One You Bring"
Where does it come from?
This scarring electricity that seizes
my shoulders, that creates storms
within the saltwater of my mind--
This bold and unabashed tempest
that tosses and roils and
creates great whirlpools,
pulling me slowly downward into that
deep chaotic emptiness--
What provokes such a wild darkness?
I would much rather lie down
in the calm current of your visions,
and dream idly with you
under an immense blanket of stars,
passionately watching you let slip
galaxies from between your lips
that float upward to be embraced
by the soft satin folds of the universe.
You try to control the sunlight as it
shines from your eyes--
yet you glow like a mirror moon.
Are you aware of your placid sublimity?
Within you lies the subtle grey dawn
as it transforms into a new day,
softly but quickly painting pink ribbons
of light across the brow of a slumbering
stormy night--your radiance is
unstoppable and bursts forth across
the horizon, showering kind intention
across the iced mountaintops and dry fields.
Can you feel such grace within you?
Such a day as the one you bring
illuminates the turbulent winds that
ride along my veins like ghost cowboys--
They do not belong to the land of deep waters
but in the quiet slope of glacial valleys;
Nestled in the ribcage of such antiquity
my feet will become the roots of a quiet plum tree,
and thus I will patiently pass time,
watching your gentle rains and warm light
intimately caress my fingertips of papery blossoms.
(2017)
1. "My Mind is Filled with You as I Inhale"
Can you smell the sweetness of this moment?
It is swelling in you now,
filling with the sunlit laziness of a fly
as it drifts through the air and
the melancholy depths of pleasant memories.
This moment holds within it all of
the blueness of a March spring sky and
the heartbeats of those who ache with steadfast longing.
I am enraptured and unsure with the thought
that a being as delicate and foolish as I
could exist so surely in a moment such as this.
I think of my father as he would smoke cigars
and read books slowly under summer starlight,
and my mother who would talk to the dog
in a teasing and playful manner, as if he were an old friend.
Such soft days are being held here,
Teaching me how to dance with the push of eternity.
What can compare to the vastness of a desert sky?
Perhaps this blade of grass that bends upright
After I release it from under my foot?
Or the simple glow of a newt's tail as it
struggles across the sunny ground to find a shady refuge?
Perhaps even the gentle color of your eyes as they
tell me of planets being born and the cusps of waves.
I feel you in my blood as it courses through my body--
You touch my fingertips, my bare chest, my temples, my heart.
My mind is filled with you as I inhale
and so you are with me as I listen
to the creek in its urgency to reach the ocean.
I cannot separate you from the smell
of a coming summer, sweet with notes of
idle warm nights in this land that is so much more ancient,
so much more enduring and stories than I am.
Still it supports me in this life of tangled trees
and sitting still throughout the calamity of thought.
Can you feel how unhurried this moment is?
How it supports you as your
mind flows as the creek flows,
and holds you within its arms, as I wish I could?
Every sensation that runs through your nerves
exists in this pocket of time as it swells
and swells, cradling the entire universe, only to
then--suddenly and imperceptibly--contract, releasing you
from everything as it should be, only to carry you
Into everything as it is.
(2017)
