June 27th, 2025: May All Beings Be Happy

Most of the chants we offered during services at Zen Center were rather esoteric in nature. Some of them were straight-up in a language that doesn’t really exist, such as the Daihi Shin Darani (which, according to the SFZC chantbook description is “…not translatable. The version we chant is the Japanese pronunciation of the Chinese transliteration of the sound as expressed in Sanskrit.”) For those chants that are translatable, they are often still rife with Zen imagery and enigmatic riddles (or Koans) that are meant to be meditated on and practiced with, in order to fully understand what it is they are offering.

In time, I came to find great meaning in all of the chants (even the Daihi Shin Darani, which, when chanted in a large group intimately familiar with how to chant it, is actually quite magical). However, one I resonated with right away was–perhaps reasonably so–the most straightforward one: The Loving Kindness Meditation. The version we chanted was a modified version of the Metta Sutta, a chant from early Mahayana Buddhism. The version we chanted was as follows:

This is what should be accomplished by the one who is wise, 

Who seeks the good, and has obtained peace.

Let one be strenuous, upright, and sincere, 

Without pride, easily contented, and joyous. 

Let one not be submerged by the things of the world. 

Let one not take upon oneself the burden of riches. 

Let one’s senses be controlled. 

Let one be wise but not puffed up and 

Let one not desire great possessions even for one’s family. 

Let one do nothing that is mean or that the wise would reprove. 

May all beings be happy. 

May they be joyous and live in safety, 

All living beings, whether weak or strong, 

In high or middle or low realms of existence. 

Small or great, visible or invisible, 

Near or far, born or to be born,

May all beings be happy. 

Let no one deceive another nor despise any being in any state. 

Let none by anger or hatred wish harm to another. 

Even as a mother at the risk of her life 

Watches over and protects her only child, 

So with a boundless mind should one cherish all living things. 

Suffusing love over the entire world, 

Above, below, and all around, without limit, 

So let one cultivate an infinite good will toward the whole world. 

Standing or walking, sitting or lying down, 

During all one’s waking hours, 

Let one practice the way with gratitude. 

Not holding to fixed views, 

Endowed with insight, 

Freed from sense appetites, 

One who achieves the way 

Will be freed from the duality of birth and death

During my first year or so while I was at Zen Center I identified as an adamant Atheist. I thought myself to be proudly beyond the pull of the esoteric, resting my feet firmly upon the rock of logic and scientific legitimacy. So why did I move to become a Buddhist monk as an Atheist? This is a good question, and one that I thought about a lot at the time and since. If you’re interested in reading my blog from my first 6 months living at Green Gulch Farm and Zen Center (one of the temples of SFZC, I eventually went on to live in all three), then you can find that here: Diary of an Atheist Buddhist. That can offer some insight. I think, essentially, that unconsciously I was searching for ritual and the divine on some deep level my conscious mind couldn’t really understand or look at.

Throughout my three years living at SFZC I was able to shake off that stern, limiting belief that I had entered in with–that I had already figured out the nature of reality, and that any mystical exploration was woowoo and silly. Instead, I was opened up and made more whole through the acts of humility and grace that are enacted again and again through monastic practice. The first foot in the doorway towards the transformation away from critic to curious explorer of possibility was the Loving Kindness Meditation.

It offered medicine–it was, even from early on, a chant I could offer whole-heartedly. It became a genuine prayer every time I recited it (without myself necessarily noticing it as such). The suffering in the world, now and always, is an immense burden on the soul. It is one of the reasons humans often seek religion, ritual, mysticism, or poetry–these are balms, guides, inspirations, and something to hold onto as one navigates the misery of the world and, perhaps, our own lives. The Loving Kindness Meditation was a balm for me. To be able to send out with my whole chest and diaphragm a wish for goodwill to the world–surrounded by people who were doing the same–it felt encouraging, fulfilling, and hopeful. Similar to the feeling of joining a protest or a civil rights workshop. It was good to not only be reminded of hope, but that there are others who are also hoping and working towards a better world.

The wisdom offered in the Loving Kindness Meditation is by no means unique to Buddhism. The sentiments of living humbly, generously, and kindly can be found in any religion. One of my favorite figures from Christianity is Saint Francis–and it seems to me that his saintly actions and insights could be boiled down to the essence of living humbly, generously, and kindly. He was a man that lived in a mystical relationship to God and life. 

I’m planning at some point to write about the influence that mystical poetry has had in my life (including the poetry of Saint Francis!). I’ll just quickly add here that one of the greatest gifts the mystics gave me was the realization that the quest for humans to be good to the world and one another has always existed in the world–it just has had different shrouds and skins depending on the cultural and historical context of the seeker. As my Zen teacher Fu used to always say “Different fingers pointing to the same moon”.

Something I love about the Loving Kindness Meditation is its versatility. It can resonate with anyone, no matter their own cultural and historical context. It is timeless and timely. It is a guiding force in my life, and it is, to this day, the most common prayer I offer for this world.

I am someone who can be crippled by guilt and shame. This can happen when I myself act in a way not in accordance with my ultimate goal of living with grace, respect, and compassion. This can also happen when I witness the intense, immense suffering of other beings in the world and contrast it to the happiness and ease of my own. I know I am not alone in this–there are many empathetic people who are suffering due to the suffering. 

Compassion is a wonderful, necessary, tool–but it needs to be paired with wisdom. This is the rub, to make sure that feelings and insight are working hand in hand on all things. I have mentioned in past posts other prayers and exercises I have garnered in order to create space for gratitude in my life and grace towards myself. These are some of the many tools that we accumulate in our lives that need to be used in different situations and circumstances. It can be helpful to have an expansive toolbelt so that, no matter the situation, you are able to address the issue. 

It is difficult for me to live this rather beautiful, simple life here in Germany against the backdrop of the news of immense suffering in the world–perhaps most keenly in America, my home. I am afraid of complacency in happiness. I am afraid that in not experiencing suffering, I will lose a tether towards an abounding compassion for all beings. Compassion, after all, etymologically breaks down to mean “to suffer/feel strongly with”. It is one of the great gifts of suffering–that it provides insight and tools to those who are also suffering, and encourages one to help them.

So, in a fear of not suffering, my mind creates suffering. I tell myself I do not deserve comfort and joy while so many others–human and non-human–are suffering. This, ultimately, is not a useful tool. Although it has whiffs of wisdom about it, it is not true wisdom. Because, ultimately, my suffering does not alleviate the suffering of others. In fact, being steeped in a mindstate where I am unhappy actually only yields unhappiness for others. I become more reactive, less kind, less gentle, less spacious in my interactions with those close to me. That in and of itself is worth the work of addressing this conundrum.

So, how do I maintain a fire and zeal for justice while living a comfortable life, without myself generating self-suffering that need not be there? How do I avoid complacency in happiness?

There is a snide joke often passed around Leftist meme accounts about “thoughts and prayers” being all that’s offered during a disaster of some sort. The contempt for the offering of “thoughts and prayers” has its merits because, a lot of the time, that is all that’s offered. To only off-handedly offer a sentiment of “I’m thinking about this and it bothers me…but not enough to actually do anything about it” is vacuous. This is, of course, most often attributed to politicians making a statement about gun violence or a natural disaster in America (but then doing nothing to actually prevent gun violence or climate change). To a large extent I agree that only offering “thoughts and prayers” is not enough.

However, this does not mean that offering “thoughts and prayers” is entirely void of meaning. In fact, it’s the opposite. It is a meaningful tool–as long as those thoughts and prayers are paired with some sort of action. It’s like a genuine apology–it is nice when someone apologizes, but then if they do nothing to amend the behavior that led to the affront, then the apology is meaningless. Prayer needs to be an offering to something greater than you as a moment of respite, prioritization, insight, and gratitude. 

For me, the prayer offered by the Loving Kindness Meditation is one that directs my whole life. It is the essence of what I wish to see in the world, and the manner in which I want to direct my life’s energy. It is the framework (along with the Bodhisattva Vows, which I’ll address in another post) that structures my ambitions and goals. To me, the meditation is a vow. I aim to live my life, earnestly, so that all beings can be happy, joyous, and live in safety. It drives my politics, my work choices, my art. It is where most of my free income goes (I honestly have a problem with donating money we don’t really have). It drives my near decade of being a vegetarian (largely vegan). It drives my near revulsion to consumerism and the fact that almost none of Michael and my money goes towards “stuff” (trips and food is where it mostly goes). Any stuff we do buy is mostly bought second-hand, or with great consideration from where it is sourced–and in this way I do not let myself be submerged by the things of the world or be burdened by (monetary) riches. These are all things that I’m proud of (but hopefully without being too puffed up), and they’re all veritable actions taken to make the world a better place and live in accordance with the prayers that I offer.

My life energy has been driven by the vows of the Loving Kindness Meditation. This has led to my “career” being eclectic, to say the least. There was a big shift that occurred for me while at Zen Center, guided by the Buddhist wisdom I was inundated with. I became very aware of and uncomfortable with the meritocracy and rapacious capitalistic drive of contemporary American culture. I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do for a career anyways, and so instead of chasing after acclaim and progress, I kept making choices based on my vows and my interests. My work has been mostly defined by a deep desire to save beings. This has mostly manifested in work with children, gardens, and art (or some combination thereof). This has been a nurturing path. And although I definitely still struggle at times with the idea of “success” as it was planted into me as a child by American society, and the fact that I’m in my 30s and not making a lot of money or climbing any sort of career ladder, I am increasingly relaxing into this path. This was the focus of therapy for a year, in fact–why was I content in my life, knowing that I made the choices that were best for me and my soul, and yet feeling like I was falling short? I needed the help of a therapist to untangle the nasty rats nest of Capitalistic expectations.

And so now to untangle the nasty rats nest of conjuring up suffering in my own lovely, simple life as a reaction to the suffering of others. I think the answer rests in the Loving Kindness Meditation. The response to suffering is not to suffer yourself, but to work towards the happiness and joy of others. It is to shift from a negative mindset focusing on what is wrong towards a positive one of what can go right. This will take practice. For someone who has a natural proclivity towards anxiety and depression, the most natural course leans towards stewing in the worry and hopelessness. As addressed in a previous post, the best way to tend towards such dark and heavy states of being is to treat it all with love and patience. It is difficult. It is truly a practice–something that must be practiced and worked on, consistently and constantly. 

This practice, this effort of working towards the light and not the dark, is a near Sisyphisian task these days. There is a real awareness that only offering “thoughts and prayers” does nothing for the people starving in Gaza. Thoughts and prayers do not stop the world from warming as we experience yet again the hottest summer on record. Thoughts and prayers do not help the animals living in abysmal, abhorrent conditions in factory farms or testing facilities. Thoughts and prayers do not stop masked, uniformless thugs from rounding up and kidnapping Latin immigrants regardless of their legal status (or even citizenship) and shipping them off to detention centers without due process, sometimes even in foreign countries. Thoughts and prayers do not stop the egregious prison industrial complex or sex-trafficking. Thoughts and prayers do not assuage the power lust of greedy, short-sighted, selfish men like Netanyahu, Trump, Musk, and Putin. Thoughts and prayers do not stop congress from passing legislation that ruins the lives of millions of Americans as they cut Medicaid, try to sell off public lands, and gut our education system. Thought and prayers do not make the draconic Billionaires wake up and realize that enough is actually enough. 

But I can live a life in defiance to the idea that that is how it has to be. I can utilize thoughts and prayers as touchstones and guides towards morality and justice. I can live a life where I choose to be kind, and work hard towards helping those I can in the ways that I can. I can and do choose to work towards a world where ALL beings are happy, joyous, and live in safety. I will not in anger or hatred wish harm to another (knowing that if those that I come close to hating were in fact happy, joyous, and safe, they would not need to spread hate and violence themselves). I will, to the best of my ability, suffuse love over the entire world and be strenuous, upright, and sincere. Now, the work really rests in allowing myself to be easily contented and joyous.

There is much to be contented and joyous about in Germany. My life here is simple.  I am supported by my husband to pursue what is interesting to me, both financially and emotionally. I spend my days working on reading, writing, and art. I can work on projects that feel like action from prayer. We just got the keys to a new apartment–surprisingly spacious by German standards and yet still in our tight budget. There is an abundance of nice vegan/vegetarian food in the supermarkets and in the restaurants. The food is generally of a higher quality and cheaper than in the US. We have yet to have a beer that wasn’t delicious. Wine is ridiculously cheap. Seemingly every other weekend is a four day weekend. We can take trips relatively easily because Michael is given an enormous amount of PTO. We don’t have to worry about medical bills. We are walking and biking a lot more. The weather around here is pleasant, as of yet untouched by the heat waves dominating a lot of the rest of the world. Michael is learning how to sail and play kayak polo. We are both working on learning German. We met some nice people who invited us to use their Kleinengarten (a unique community garden space) whenever we’d like. We’re able to bring our dog with us almost anywhere. We’re traveling Europe and learning the nuances of the Autobahn and the trains. There are, of course, difficulties and peculiarities to Germany that we’re navigating (the mail system here is always a bother and we need to provide our own overhead lights for our new apartment I guess? Those are not included, we learned), but it is nice. It is pleasant. It is fulfilling.

I am one of the beings that is allowed to be happy, joyous, and live in safety.

I wish for anyone reading that you too may be happy, joyous, and living in safety.

Reading now: The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander and The Sunlit Man by my boi Brandon Sanderson

Listening now:  A lot of Aurora. Her music is medicine for me right now, undoubtedly. Also a lot of Rage Against the Machine, who are offering their own sort of medicine.